“Hmm…I wonder how many cups of coffee I can drink in one month.”
It was early December (known in my household as the season of my birthday), and my son and I were in the Starbucks line at Target. He saw a starburst sign promoting a $40 to-go mug that gives you free coffee refills for the month of January. “Mom! You have to get that mug!”
My son knows me well. I love a good deal almost as much as I love coffee. To his 10-year-old heart, this mug was the ultimate birthday present. Even though I wasn’t convinced it was actually a good deal, I couldn’t say no to my sweet son. To be kind to him (*cough), I decided to start 2018 by happily drowning in coffee.
My life from the outside is comfortable.
I have food to serve my kids each day. I have a really great husband who makes me laugh and sends me to Starbucks for time to myself–two of my main love languages.
But here’s what I’ve learned as my forehead wrinkles deepen and store clerks increasingly call me “ma’am:” I need deep faith muscles to keep my heart
anchored in truth, especially when my life feels comfortable.
So I’m taking a step of faith. It’s a big one for me for many reasons. I’ll be away from my family for 10 days. It’s expensive. It’s something I’ve never done at a
place I’ve never been.
I’M GOING TO ISRAEL! Continue reading
A few weeks ago my daughter turned to me while we unloaded the dishwasher. “Mom, do you think I should go to camp?” I hesitated for one second as irrational mom fears bubbled up to the surface–dry drowning, third degree sunburns, killer chiggers. I’ve never actually read about killer chiggers, but I can still imagine they exist.
I love my life: my family, my coffee, my books, my work. But every so often I look around and suddenly feel very small. Other women seem to be standing on top of mountains in victory, and I’m standing in front of my dishwasher in sweatpants.
Last year, I ran a marathon–not a real marathon that gives me a cool “26.1” bumper sticker, but a writing assignment that made me feel the way I imagine myself running a marathon. (Yes, you can infer by the way I worded that sentence I have never run a marathon and never plan to run a marathon.) Lots of excitement at the beginning, plenty of tears in the middle, a few exhaustion collapses, and high-fives and emotional thank you’s to my loved ones who kept me alive when I was hyperventilating. I wrote four devotionals that are now in the She Reads Truth Bible. The majority of the other contributors probably described it as a relaxing walk through the park, but for me this project was a true challenge. Like so many marathon finishers, what I learned during the struggle far outweighs the joy of crossing the finish line. I felt and tasted and heard and saw the truth we all uncover during challenges. When I am pushed beyond my own limits and I know success is miles away from the reach of my own hand, my only choice is to trust in the help of my good, good Father. And He never disappoints us. He never pushes us away for being weak. He is always faithful.
If you’re interested in reading more about She Reads Truth or their recently released Bible, visit shereadstruth.com.
I hate the word “should.” Throughout my day, my emotions and voice
rise when I feel the word should bubbling beneath the surface. Deep down
inside, I picture how I think life should be, and the difference of what is
becomes an emotional space bursting with disgust for myself and anger
for those around me.
You all (yes, that is the unsatisfying northern version of y’all), it is time to celebrate.
Join me wherever you are by drinking some coffee or quoting a Gilmore Girl episode or eating a piece of chocolate (or a kale chip if you’re one of those amazing people who don’t eat sugar…I know you’re out there and I hope to join you someday.)